************************************************************** * * * CYBERSPACE * * A biweekly column on net culture appearing * * in the Toronto Sunday Sun * * * * Copyright 1999 Karl Mamer * * Free for online distribution * * All Rights Reserved * * Direct comments and questions to: * * * * * ************************************************************** When McDonald's raised the Golden Arches over Moscow and officially ended the Cold War, political pundits wondered who America would pick as its new enemy. In the relatively unfunny movie /Canadian Bacon/, film maker Michael Moore, creator of the hilarious /Roger and Me/ and the highly treasonous /TV Nation/, explored the idea that the American psyche needs an evil empire and could find a convenient, albeit ironic, adversary in Canada. Given the rise of so-called militia groups, it appears many Americans haven't searched much farther north than Washington D.C. for a new enemy. Online Americans have, however, noticed that they're sharing cyberspace with Canadians and they don't much like it. Sometimes, they've got valid reasons. The ".ca" top-level domain is reserved for Canada. On net.news, the ca.* news hierarchy covers issues relating to California. Too many Canadian newbies aren't aware of this difference and frequently include a sampling of California newsgroups in their rants about the Avro Arrow or Jean Chretien. One would think the newsgroup ca.earthquakes is a tip off that the hierarchy might not be about Canada. If you're looking to intentionally irk Americans, you can find a never ending cross border flame war on alt.nuke.the.USA. Americans are pathetically easy targets, given their ignorance of basic geography and their disturbingly high ratio of handguns to live births. Oddly enough, a lot of Americans don't seem to think these are problems. When it comes to returning fire, Americans are a bit perplexed as how to attack citizens of a nation they know little about. Most seem to boast of military prowess and issue dire warnings about turning the Great White North into the 51st state. (I've long thought this notion of the second largest country in the world becoming one American state problematic. When that dark day comes, Canada will likely become the 51st, 52nd, 53rd, and 54th states.) The occasional well-read American will know enough to make fun of some of the noticeable cracks in our healthcare system. Don't despair, however, if you're on the end of a particularly painful zinger ("Oh yeah, at least we elect our judges and get to vote on tax increases!"). The Great Canadian Comeback page at www.primenet.com/~nep/canada.html provides an extensive list of clever ripostes. It would be interesting to write one of those tres chic web filters (see the ValleyURL page at www.80s.com/Entertainment/ValleyURL/) that let's the Great Canadian Comeback page duke it out with the Anti-Canada Website at www.neptunenet.com/antican/default.htm. But that would be cruel, as the author of the Anti-Canada Website goes to great lengths to remind his sensitive Canadian readers that it's all a big joke. Or is it? I do seem to recall reading once that emperor worship began as something of a joke.