The Spriit Lance

Campus not so dangerous

This is another one Terry and I hacked out together one night. I've always enjoyed writing with Terry late at night when we're tired and anything begins to seem funny. This article was the real rub behind why Chang's Full Gospel Spirit Campus initiative was a crock of steaming shit. While Chang was bemoaning the lack of attendance at Lancer football games, women were getting raped on campus. The Windsor campus was poorly lit and did not have safety features common on those campuses that fostered real school spirit like Western or Waterloo. Windsor totally lacked basics like panic buttons, emergency phones, and safety patrol vans.

The fun we had with the names of campuses with a "tense learning environment" was repeated later in the pages of The Border City Lance when we thought up names for bizarre turn-of-the-century academic programs.

Off trays, into trays

See the page 9 write up for a story about the backlash The Lance got when running fluff pieces about recycling or enviro-friendly campus initiatives. The presence of Sue Morin, one time president of the Part Time Students Association, is in this article reminds me of another anecdote like the one I develop on the page 9 write up. It kind of goes hand-in hand with that and a greater theory I have that in the absence of information about how or why an organization works, people make their own theories. Said theories frequently explain the organization's observable behavior as directly attributable to a hidden vendetta the organization has against the theorist.

Let me explain.

We ran a little article about a raffle being put on by the janitorial staff. They were raffling off a wooden rocking horse. Someone from the custodial department had called the news editor and explained the raffle was being conducted to benefit some employee with a sick child. Aww. Tug at heart strings. After that issue ran, the President of the Part Time Students Association came up to The Lance offices and began to tear a strip out of the editor. She demanded to know exactly what The Lance had against part time students.

"What do you mean The Lance has something against part time students?" asked Kevin.

The President of the Part Time Students Association explained that it was becoming increasing clear that The Lance had something against her organization and part time students because The Lance kept failing to cover their events. She began to rattle off half a dozen other trivial events we covered for other student organizations over the past few months. Then she listed several key part time student events we failed to cover. The final straw was giving the janitor staff coverage in the same week the part time students had some major event they felt was worthy of coverage.

Kevin looked at her and asked "Did you send us a press release?"

She froze.

Kevin continued "Ignoring for a moment that 80% of our paid staff are themselves part time students and we'd only be conspiring against ourselves, if you don't send us a press release or give us a phone call and ask for some coverage, we can't divine everything going on on campus."

"Oh."

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(a subdivision of The Karl Mamer and Terry Brown Foundation for Creative Penury)

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