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Philip K. Pejorative is a play on sci
fi author Philip K. Dick.
I wrote this article but Terry kind of
fucked it up a bit. The idea was this father transplants his himself and
little hoodlum children to Windsor. Like most over-proud parents, he thinks his children are
smart. But they're really just little thugs.
At first the kids find Windsor boring.
Not enough to occupy their little criminal minds. But then they turn on
Detroit TV and realize the gauntlet has been thrown down.
For reasons unknown, Terry changed
"zebra mussel shakes to mollusk shakes".
Terry did, however, ultimately rescue
the piece by throwing in the bit about the kids' mother at the end. All is
forgiven, Terry.
The article was ultimately a poke at
the reaction non-Windsorites have to Detroit TV. People in the rest of Ontario and Canada pretty much grow up on a diet of Canadian TV and American
network TV out of fairly benign places like Vermont,
upstate New York, and Seattle.
Detroit TV, however, is a whole new
world of horrors. First there are the daily multiple murders, the rapes,
and the arsons. Then there are the commercials -- commercials for guard
dogs, alarm systems, bars on your windows, and slip-and-fall lawyers.
Terry, however, decided to throw in a
bunch of crap about the kids working on the unified field theory.
Anyway, when it's 3 am and this is the last article to go on a flat before the
printers, you no longer want to fight for your original idea.
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