[Karl's Home]
[White Label Humour]
[Dating Explained] [Franglais] [Help Spread Karl]
|
The
Sese-Seko/Rita Letters
<- The Marco Letters
| The Marimba/Mr. Esq Letters ->
Introduction
____________________________________________ From: coseko@kumis.com To: me9000@hotmail.com Date:
Dear Tony Morrel,
Thank you very much for your response my mother's mail, which she has forwarded to me, so that both of us (you and I) will work as a team, to actualize our dream.
I am Collins Sese-seko and am
presently seeking refuge in
Before, I brief you on the nature of the pendingn project at hand. I would want to bring to your notice that due to the present political situation in my country, my family is under surveillance. Therefore, I will be most obliged of both of us have at the bottom of our heart that confidentiality comes before anything in this our pending project.
In a nutshell, confidentiality
should be our watch word. Sequel to my mother's mail, the deposited the sum
of $18,000,000.00 USD with a security company in
Furtherance to the above, we seek
your assistance to travel down to
How do we plan to achieve this? My perfect modalities to ensure a risk and hitch free duration of this deal are as follows.
1. You will have to send me a handwritten letter of guarantee, scan and send via email, issue in my mother's name Mrs. Mariam Sese-seko, guaranteeing that after you have secure the funds in Amsterdam, they will be safe in your possession and be used for further for investment, which report will be send to her a monthly bases.
2. After I receive the letter of
guarantee from you, I will instruct my mother's Lawyer to draft a Power of
Attorney, changing the beneficiary name to your name. And I will send you a
copy which you will sign and send back to me. I will turn send it to the
Security Company in
3. The security company in
4. We have agreed to give you 20% of the total money as your commission for your assistance and cooperation.
I await your prompt response to my mail, as we have to commence immediately, as you are aware time is of equal importance as confidentiality in this transaction. Also feel free to call me on my confidential telephone number 234 1 4719370 or 234 80 33157341, so that we can discuss in detail. I am available anytime of the day for a telephone discussion
My warmest regards,
Collins
NB: Please, for security reasons any time you call me always use the code name SEKO and I will answer KOSE. And if I do not answer KOSE, hang up and call back again.
____________________________________________ From: me9000@hotmail.com To: me9000@hotmail.com Date:
| Thank you very much for your response my mother's mail, | which she has forwarded to me, so that both of us (you | and I) will work as a team, to actualize our dream.
Dreams are important to have in
this day and age. What with Sept 11 and
At this point I wake up screaming!
So yes, let us realize a greater dream.
| I am Collins Sese-seko and am presently seeking refuge | in |
another
There are two
| Before, I brief you on the nature of the pendingn | project at hand. I would want to bring to your notice | that due to the present political situation in my | country, my family is under surveillance. Therefore, I | will be most obliged of both of us have at the bottom | of our heart that confidentiality comes before anything | in this our pending project.
I'm very good at keeping secrets and fully aware of people watching you. I had a wife at one point. A man could not run his bowling alley, especially during wayward catholic girls school fundraising day, without "the wife" watching my every move. You and I both know that there are people who would do horrible things for even a fraction of this kind of money. People would cheat, steal, lie, and even murder for sums no more than $5,000! This is why I tell no one about the $2,000,000 I received selling my bowling alley, especially my ex-wife's lawyer. This of course you will not tell them. If there is to be any honesty between us, then we must demonstrate we're good with secrets.
| In a nutshell, confidentiality should be our watch | word. Sequel to my mother's mail, the deposited the sum | of $18,000,000.00 USD with a security company in |
Ah yes.
| Furtherance to the above, we seek your assistance to |
travel down to | the money, secure the money in cash and thereafter, |
open an account in | subsequently transfer in bits to your valid account in | your country of abode. How do we plan to achieve this?
Yes. How! I'm forced to wonder this myself. I'm entirely surprised that sometimes I can buy the right cereal at the grocery store. You are a man with a plan. I trust people with ideas.
| My perfect modalities to ensure a risk and hitch free | duration of this deal are as follows.
Hitch free. I'm recently hitch free. I sold my airstream trailer and pickup truck and purchase a mobile home (the kind with wheels that drives places, not the kind that sets on cinder blocks, with a rain barrel out in front full of drowned squirrels, and a tornado loomin in the background... one day maybe but for now I'm planning to drive it around).
| 1. You will have to send me a handwritten letter of | guarantee, scan and send via email, issue in my | mother's name Mrs. Mariam Sese-seko, guaranteeing that |
after you have secure the funds in | be safe in your possession and be used for further for | investment, which report will be send to her a monthly | bases.
I will tell you this much. My handwriting is terrible. Unreadable. I used to have good penmanship (got a penmanship bronze medal in Susan B Anthony PS 105.... GO SUSAN B VIKINGS! RAH RAH! ALL THE WAY SUSAN B HORNED WARRIORS! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? WHO WHO!!!!!) but then I started in the bowling alley trade. I was a pin setter upper and suffered a grievous injury to my right (pen) hand. God almighty. Since then I've mostly just made X's on documents. Can I draw a big X and email that?
| NB: Please, for security reasons any time you call me | always use the code name SEKO and I will answer KOSE. | And if I do not answer KOSE, hang up and call back | again.
Okay. I think I follow. I ask for
SEKO first then second you answer KOSE. How about I call myself then... KOES?
No ... KEOS... no no.. those are both hard to pronounce. Collins I think you
took the best permutations of SEKO/KOSE. Look, how about I ask for
Yes?
I think this will work. It is all very very exciting.
Shortly after my last email to Sese-seko, I got an email
from a Rita Ubekin who claimed she was in the
____________________________________________ From:"UBEKIN RITA" <widow@37.com> To: me9000@hotmail.com Date:
Dear Tony,
I got your mail and i must say thank you for your concin over me.May GOD Almighty also bless you. I think my last mail was self explainatory enough.All i was telling you is that soonest i get a copy of your international passport or driving leacies for me to be sure that when this money get into your hands,you can always give me my share of it.I shall than send you a copy of the certificate of deposite and letter of unthorisation that will enable you claim the consignment from the company and taken to your country for investment in my name ,where i shall than join you up by the Grace of GOD. You see,i am under serious pression so for security sake,i cannot openly claim this money by myself.This is why i need a partner in this transaction.I have told you the percentage i am given you and also the percentage aside for all the unforseen expenses.You can get me your number so that we chat or discuss one-on-one as time is running out for me. Please get back to me with the above conditions soonest possible if you are really intested in this transaction.
Best Regards, Ms.Ubekin.
____________________________________________ From: me9000@hotmail.com To: "UBEKIN RITA" <widow@37.com> Date:
| I got your mail and i must say thank you for your concin over me. | May GOD Almighty also bless you.
No no. May god almighty bless YOU. YOU are the one in need. I've been so blessed by God already. I've been blessed many, many times by God.
First, at the age of 8 God
delivered my father to his reward early in life (my father died in a parking
lot fight outside of the Raging Bull Tavern). Being the only man in the
house, if you don't count my mother's trucker boyfriend, I had to help make
ends meet (the trucker ate a lot). I left school and took a job at the
bowling alley as a pin boy. This meant I set up pins. There were automatic
pin setting up machines then (
Just as the Democrats seized
power and began destroying the bowling alley unions (and the American
family... coincidence?), God delivered me another blessing: bowling fell out
of fashion and lanes were closing down. My alley (Pink Hog Bowl-a-rama ...
have you heard of this?) which barely made a profit during the "hey
day" of
I worked for ten more years as a
pin boy although by this time I had become a man. I will spare you, gentle
lady, the details. But let me say I took a big chance at the high school
dance (I was 23 and crashed the dance) with a missy who was ready to play.
She was 14 but wasn't me she was fooling because she knew what she was doing,
and I knowed love was here to stay. While many would consider this another
gift from God, especially when she told me to "walk this way", it
turned out to be a satanic curse. I was so distracted by my research into pin
setting up technology as invented by
I married her. And then God
rewarded me for making an honest woman out of her (although the honesty I
gave her seemed to abandon her when she hired the most dishonest divorce
lawyer... do they have a legal system in
This is when my wife divorced me.
She retained Bobby Ishmael McCracken as her divorce lawyer and sued me. She claimed I cheated on her! I did no such thing! Yes my next door neighbor with a daughter had a favor, so I gave her just a little kiss. Like this. :() That's all. Is it my fault she was such a temptress? She was a schoolgirl sweetie with a classy kinda sassy, her little skirt climbing way up the knee.
God managed to bless me again by letting my wife and McCracken take the millions but leave me with title to the bowling alley. I asked myself then what do I need with money when I have a bowling alley, which is everything I desire in life (except for maybe multiple sex partners, which as a bowling alley *owner* there were plenty of, no one looks at pin boy but a business man...)?
I could bore you with further details (tales of conquests), but since I've highlighted the most interesting parts of my life in demonstration that I've been blessed and you haven't, I'll suffice it to say God blessed me a final time when Starbucks (you know Starbucks of course) came by one day and offered me $2,000,000 for my bowling alley and the land it was on.
| I think my last mail was self explainatory enough.
Well, let me say I'm 55 and not getting younger or smarter. I will say that. Things that seem self explanatory like tales of your plight or road signs that say "one way" don't cotton onto my mind as easily.
| All i was telling you is that soonest i get a copy of your international | passport or driving leacies for me to be sure that when this money | get into your hands,you can always give
Here's a funny thing. I've never
actually traveled much beyond home (I do sometimes visit my aunt in
| You see,i am under serious pression so for security sake,i cannot openly | claim this money by myself.This is why i need a partner in this | transaction.I have told you the percentage
As you might have gleaned from my own personal history with money and legal matters, yes, people are ready to take it away from us, by any means necessary including those that are legitimate.
| i am given you and also the percentage aside for all the unforseen expenses.
Could you refresh me as to the
monetary amount and the percentage? Please express percentage in the form of
% not as a fraction or decimal point thank you. I'm too old to learn decimals
(a European sounding word if there ever was one) and I'm too old by half to
remember even a third of the stuff I've forgotten about fractions. Do you use
Base 10 in
| You can get me your number so that we chat or discuss one-on-one | as time is running out for me. Please get back to me with the | above conditions soonest possible if you are really intested in this transaction.
Yes.
____________________________________________ From: "UBEKIN RITA" <widow@37.com> To: me9000@hotmail.com Date:
Dear Mr.Tony,
I got your mail and all that it
contained was well understond.First i will like to remaind you that i am a
congolise and not a nigeria.I have never known that country before,for all my
major part of my life i was in
With love,
Rita.
____________________________________________ From: me9000@hotmail.com To: "UBEKIN RITA" <widow@37.com> Date:
Thu,
| I got your mail and all that it contained was well understond.First i | will like to remaind you that i am a congolise and not a nigeria.I have | never known that country before,for all my major part of my life i was in |
Dear Rita, there's some
confusion, clearly, and it's due in part to my limited knowledge of
| You see,the major reason why i demanded for your copy of international | passport or driving liances was becuase of trust.This money is the | whole life sum left for me and my child by my ever carring and lovelly | husband.
He was (?) a great man no doubt?
| So cant for the fact that i am running from my government to lost | this money to total stranger
No one wants to lose hard earned money to a stranger! This is very true. That you speak truths leads me to believe I can trust you.
| you can send me your coloured pictures
Yes! I think I can do that. I think. Most of my pictures are of me with my ex-wife and I think, at this juncture in our "relationship" (if I may be so bold as to call it that... your husband is no longer "with you" yes?), sending you a picture of me with an ex love (however temporary that love was) might be in poor taste. Speaking of poor taste, reviewing many of my other photos of me solo, I'm hard put to find a picture of myself wearing a shirt. Although for identification purposes, I have many very unique tattoos (and one visible scar). Do Congoadians decorate their bodies? In the bowling alley trade, pin boys undergo ritual tattooing before they can advance within union circles. Not many people know it but there are 33 Degrees within the Pin Boy union (or there were until the Democrats and their European taskmasters destroyed the union). Allow me to list the degrees in the Pin Boy union:
1. Junior Pin Boy 2. Still Junior Pin Boy 3. Need I Remind You're Still A Junior Pin Boy 4. Free and Accepted Pin Boy (you get your own silk shirt with your name patch sewn on the shoulder) 5. Journeyman Pin Boy 6. Craftsman Pin Boy 7. Senior Pin Boy 8. Elect Pin Boy 9. Noble Pin Boy 10. Pin Boy of the Black Watch (you may wear the black tartan kilt of the Scottish Rite Pin Boy union at that point) 11. Master Pin Boy 12. Master Adept Pin Boy 13. Sublime Master Pin Boy 14. Pin Boy Knight of the Alley (you get your own monogrammed bottle opener) 15. Pin Boy Architect of the Alley 16. Pin Boy Systems Analyst 17. Pontiff Pin Boy 18. Grand Pontiff Pin Boy 19. Pin Boy Patriarch 20. Pin Boy Royal 21. Pin Boy Prince 22. Pin Boy Holder of the Golden Chalice 23. Pin Boy Knight Protector of the Slurpee Machine 24. All Seeing Cyclops Pin Boy 25. Terrible Wizard of the Pin Boy Occult 26. Pin Boy Holder of the Five Sacred Winds 27. Pin Boy Upon the Rose Cross 28. Pin Boy
to 29. Pin Boy of Libanus and the Holy Kadesh (free shoe rental on your days off at this point) 30. Great and Brazen Serpentine Pin Boy of Zahadum 31. Pin Boy of the Red Mercy 32. Pin Boy
Seer of the Mystery of the 33. Pin Man
| and other neccesiry papers as you said.
I can send you some clippings of some of those news paper articles.
| I told you that this money,Thirty-one million America Dollars |
(US$31,000.000) was actually deposited via the security agent in | It was deposited (the contents) as family valuables.From this total | sum,i said i will give you 20% and 5% also for all the unforseen | expenses which you may run during the course of this transaction.
25% in total? Could you make it 22% plus 8% for unforeseen expenses?
| You will then advice me on the best possible way (economy Sector)to | invest the remaining in your country.
Dear lady, I would be honored to
offer you investment advice. And I have some. I've told no one about this
except for my aunt in
Are your children grown?
Anyway, my plan in the planning stages involved a plan for one free range pitbull farm. I can get some land at an old elementary school the city is selling cheap. I wanted to buy the playground next to it, but the city won't sell me that. Apparently the neighborhood children still enjoy using it (I suspect the European taskmasters who control the Democrats have their stooges within city politics as well). However, the $31 million you can invest can let us buy old elementary schools all across American. We (you and I... that has a nice ring to it no?) can open up a chain of these dog farms.
Think of it. Pitbulls being
raised and roaming free across the suburbs of
| I can send you all the relevant documents and a letter of authorization that | will anable you claim this money from the security company soonest i get | yours.
Yes. Where do I send it to?
| With love, Rita.
*huggles*
Rita you have made me the happiest man alive.
____________________________________________ From: me9000@hotmail.com To: "UBEKIN RITA" <widow@37.com> Date:
RITA I HAVE NOT HEARD YOUR RESPONSE. RITA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ANSWER ME! RITA TELL ME "THEY" HAVE NOT GOT TO YOU?
____________________________________________ From: "UBEKIN RITA" <widow@37.com> To: me9000@hotmail.com Date:
Dear Mr.Morrel,
I have attached here again two photos of mine for your liking.I do hope you will do the same so that i can give you the company´s contact and the neccesary documents that will anable you claim this consignmnet on my behalf.
Please i need this claim to be done soonest possible.
With love.
Rita.
<- The Marco Letters | The Marimba/Mr. Esq Letters
->
|
[Karl's Home]
[White Label Humour]
[Dating Explained] [Franglais] [Help Spread Karl]
|
got the sense the two people sending me these emails
were working together, that Seso-seko handed me off to the "lovely"
Rita Ubekin. I sort of wish Sese-seko continued with a few more emails, I was
having some fun with the anagrams.
