La petite lesson en franglais

Hello my friends (Bonjour mez amis)! This is a small French lesson (ca c'est une petite lesson en Français). In this lesson (dans cette lesson) we will test your ability (mettre de éprouvette de vos ability pas) to read and comprehend a French text (de reveler tu has n'est pas jettez vos étude previous). First, you will read a letter to the editor of Le Devoir (oh great) and then you will be tested on your comprehension and grasp of the greater issues at hand (hein?).

Good, let's begin (Bein, let's allez).

> Le lesson <

Pour commencer, readez c'est lettre. Get crackin':

Hein hostie de belle lettre rédacteur de éditeur,

Vive le Quebec! Vive le Quebec libre! Etc etc. Allowez moi de get right allez to la pointe, comrade. Labrador. Oui. Labrador.

N'est pas Labrador est part de Quebec? Ici Quebec. Ici just over there Labrador. C'est simple. La Isle-Roche D'Newfie est un ilse. Le period. I mean where do they get off? Le Quebec est un ilse de culture Français vrai pure laine dans une sea de mare au l'Anglais tabernak mangia cakes. So c'est d'obvious blindly un Quebec independent must aussi d'include la annexation naturel c'est area de sudetenland. Hein of course? Give us your women.

Je n'est pas d'suggesting un Quebec independent est should l'invade Labrador and sovereignty associate it en une Greater Quebec de Lebensraum. But I am. Mais c'est "La" dans la nom d'Labrador est une tip off plus bein la manifest destiny de c'est territoire shire est as un happy buffer state en l'Quebec curtain d'Iron fer.

Maybe we'll seize the St. Lawrence. Maybe we won't. Just watch me.

Et ask yourself dit c'est this, Sherlock. Pourquoi why not la the Labradorians pas de want to join une Quebec independent? Notre food est better. I heard the Newfies mostly eat tubers and fried banana peels and they lost the recipe to make ice when the inventor died. Compared au le rates d'impôts tax, la Newfie makez le Quebec appear d'like un haven tax Bahamas. Et le Quebec still has une team d'hoggy. Pour la temps being.

Je suggérer following la next prochain neverendum which we will win finally this time kristelnacht, le Quebec extendez un main de hand friendship au la the Labrador et invitez ellez to join up. Je pas de suggesting we mass la Sécurité de Quebec, those guys are crazy machinegun toting fucks, en la border avec la the Labrador. But I am.

Maybe we'll kick out the Indians too. Maybe we won't. Just watch me.

Si la the Labrador accept nos terms d'surrender association, la the Labradorians qui who quizzically désirer de remain l'Canadians, though I'm not sure why, will est be allowed la passage safe et Dunkirk chez their way a La Isle-Roche D'Newfie. C'est hosties Batan Death Marched out will, certainement, be required de leavez leurs their cases of Screech to be divided up among loyal party members.

Next we take prendez New Brunswick et Gondor. Then pax en nos temps. We'll arrêt there, mes petite Chamberlains.

Vive le Quebec! Vive le Quebec libre! Etc etc.

Monsieur Adolf-Pierre Plantard-Frousse

Pierrfond, Quebec

La Questions de compri d'hension

Monsieur Adolf-Pierre Plantard-Frousse's Letter to the Editor is about:

1. Just some Frenchie bitching. Pay him no mind.

2. Labrador, apparently.

3. An eventual genocide.

Tax rates in Quebec are:

1. Not as high as Newfoundland.

2. Like, really high.

3. Bound to get higher to pay for the economic mess caused by separation.

The writer takes pride in:

1. The natural, rugged beauty of Quebec.

2. Quebec's reputation for the quality and artistry of French Canadian cooking and conspicuously fails to mention his diet of smoked meat, poutine, steamies, Louis Vachon choco pies, le Pepsi, and cigarettes.

3. Two neverendums have rejected independence yet a third time has to be the charm.

Most people think of Newfoundland as:

1. An island.

2. A rocky island.

3. A rocky island where people shamelessly drink a paint-thinner-like whiskey called Screech.

Quebec's Provincial police, la Sécurité de Quebec, sound like:

1. Consummate professionals, a real credit to the profession of policing.

2. Like the writer said, crazy fucks with machineguns and a perception they've been given a license to kill.

3. Not people you want to deal with if you're an Indian trying to protest a plan to bulldoze your ancestor's graveyards to make way for a private golf course.

True or False

Check the correct answer or check Not Withstanding if you wish to duck from the reality of the situation.

The writer feels Labrador is a natural part of Quebec.

[ ] Mais c'est true!

[ ] Not withstanding

If Quebec ever took over the administration of Labrador, Canadian citizens wishing to remain Canadian will be offered safe passage to some place sane.

[ ] Mais c'est false!

[ ] Not withstanding

It's entirely possible that being a Francophone in Canada doesn't mean you're for a separate Quebec or you enjoy smoked meat and poutine.

[ ] Mais c'est true!

[ ] Not withstanding

Many people might assume there is no Monsieur Adolf-Pierre Plantard-Frousse and his letter were probably written by an anti-separatist money or ethnic to make the separatist movement seem like it's supported by violent, dangerous psychotics because no where in the letter does the author blame the United States for a portion of Quebec's problem.

[ ] Mais c'est false!

[ ] Not withstanding

Discussion Questions

1. Do you really care about the fate of Labrador? No, really.

2. If the fate of Indians in Quebec weren't a roadblock to Quebec independence would you really care about North American Indians? No, really.

3. Do you think Monsieur Adolf-Pierre Plantard-Frousse is probably pissed off about Newfoundland because Kevin Spacey would never make a movie like The Shipping News in Quebec?

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