Hello my
friends (Bonjour mez amis)! This is a small French lesson (ca c'est
une petite lesson en français). In this lesson (dans cette lesson)
you will learn conversational French (vous will prendrez la knowledge de
sortie a la bouche la langage français de quelle volume) you can use if you spend Christmas (vos can use si
vos spendez la ChristMassey-Ferguson grueling) with your French Canadian
girlfriend's family (avec ta stripper girlfriend bouncy bouncy et family-troupeau clueless that thinks elle est
un waitress en Toronto-hostie et can miraculously afford la lak front condo
plush, les shoes Prada, et la suitcase de Mac cosmetics avec suelment la
wages meager de waitressing slave) in Quebec, possibly Shawinigan (en la wilds d'Quebec
backwoods no where near une Starbucks de civilization ou la Club Super Sexe).
Good, let's
begin (Bein, let's allez) you poor son-of-a-bitch (je suis très désolé).
> Le lesson <
English:That's such a lovely Nativity
scene. Was Tin Tin really one of the good sheppards?
French:Je pas de réaliséz en la
Franclophonez translation au la Bible King James-Pierre Version, la trios
Magi Hommes de Crafty n'est pas brought la Jésus bambino la d'or, la
scarycense, et la Mir mais ils sont de brought l'offerings de Smoked Meat,
l'Pepsi, et la neverendum ballots rejected questionable "non"
votes.
English:I've never had Christmas turkey
with stuffing made from chocolate Joe Louis and poutine.
French: Zut alors, en l'Ontario tight assed, la typical family long ago
pas stopped cooking cuire pour la non petit déjeuner repast
ChristMassey-Ferguson et découvrez la miracle de la microwave and la
section Costco de frozen foods brrrrdseye. God bless, Sara Lee.
English:So this is tourtiere!
French:Zut alors, un pastry shell pie avec
peppery d'hamburger et la blanche hunks je est guess est la pomme de terre
potato et n'est pas hunks de uncooked lard? C'est identical a la Jamaican
Patty mais plus big! Maybe, oui?
English:Wow this family Christmas dinner is
so different from my family get togethers in Ontario.
People aren't yelling at each other and dredging up infidelities and social
slights committed ten years ago. You're all just smoking.
French:Je pense c'est ChristMassey-Ferguson
et un silent nuit holy nuit traditionnelle parce que toute la family est
drinking c'est Labatt Ice kegger et la highball mixer Newfoundland Screech
et Dubonnet over sur la roche ice since la jour morning prochaine last week
steadily soma. Freshin' up this drink for me, Mimi? That's a good girl.
English:Errr you want me to go to Midnight
Mass? Is that anything like Midnight Madness at Future Shop?
French:Ah oui, tu est la
Christmas-et-Easter Catholics lip service aussi like nos est used to be en
l'Ontario tight assed until la petite SoCreds d'NDP government d'Bob-Pierre
Rae est conviced la province la notion de praying a la
dieu-Santa-in-the-sky est un action futile and now we simply accept we get
the governments we deserve.
English:Wow, I didn't realize a French
Canadian Catholic church service could be so beautiful!
French:C'est un Catholic service
magnifique, bein sur, mais are you sure all these people here this jour
will be here next Sunday jour? Et, pardonnez-moi for asking/questioning
votre faith, but parceque what the hell was up with la sermon par by la
Frère Groulx calling pour la Franclaphonez Pure Laine de prayez rise up et
consumez mort la money and ethnics en un feu fire holy cleansing jackboots?
That was a bit much.
English:The only time I've ever had a
Christmas with a real tree was that time I lived in residence and we clear
cut the front yards of the nearby home owners.
French:Tabarnak toute all these l'evergreen
trees est tres getting old, parceque why not Lorax 'em down et put en place
un techno disco et un Starbucks pave paradise? Shoo-bop-bop-bop-bop.
English:How did you ever know I always
wanted a Chia Pet?
French: Merci bein pour la generic gift
parceque Natalie-Pierre est afraid de tellez vos elles was dating un
Anglophonez hostie until la last minute et tu est pas prepared pour mon
arrival, hein? That must be it. Je will de keep c'est cadeau near mon coeur
pitter patter as mais je can't even regift un Chialfalfa Chein la.
