La petite lesson en franglais

Hello my friends (Bonjour mez amis)! This is a small French test (ca c'est une petite grilling de see if vous has been paying prêt-à-porter la atttention). In this test (dans cette grilling de regurgitation vomissez) you will demonstrate your ability (vous will fait ton d'ability pas) to read and write franglais (de bull merde dans une exam d'grilling vomissez de pas vrais measure de ton ability true, hein, so why worry? You know being able to drink with the boss, pumping up his ego, covering his ass when he makes an idiot of himself before the VP, and helping him hide his infidelities with his secretary from his wife and H&R are far better measures of your career success than a clutch of test marks from twenty years ago which no employer is ever going to look at, ever).

Ready for your test? (Eh?) Good, let's begin (Bein, let's allez).

> Le Teste Tabernack <

Write a short essay in Franglais explaining why milk jeopardizes Quebec’s bid for independence.

Identifiy in which order Quebec’s great politicians should be canonized as saints by the Catholic church:

a) Rene Levesque, Lionel Groulx, Jacques Parizeau

b) Lionel Groulx, Rene Levesque, Jacques Parizeau

Which of the following best completes this sentence:

"Hein, donnez moi bein toute suite_____"

a) une brewski, tabernack!

b) une cigarette de Lucky Strike, tabernack!

c) une society just, hostie tabernack!

Which sentence best expresses "Here comes the English" in Franglais?

a) La something c'est way wicked mauvais est comez.

b) Maudit! Les Anglais hostie allez ici tabernack!

c) Sacrament! Baptême! Les Anglais tourist allez ici en c'est garage de rip errr repairez d'automobile en panne. Steady on, Cletus-Pierre. Overcharge c'est hostie bein et when nous avons achetez c'est hostie's l'argent de money over paid, nous sommes de crank up l'attitude Quebecois d'impertinent feu.

In Franglais, write a short essay explaining why Denny Arcand’s sequel to The Decline of the American Empire won’t win a foreign language Academy Award and provide the obvious evidence that English Canada under Paul Martin and the English Canadian Hollywood Mafia led by Allen Thicke and Mike Myers are using the traditional anti-French separatist axis of money, ethnics, and reasoned debate to prevent the film’s nomination for the Oscars.

Using lines match the English terms on the left with their proper Franglais equivalents on the right.

God damn English	Hostie!
The Jews	La money!
The Greeks and Italians	La ethnics!
Quebecois	Pure Laine
Chinamen	Pas de l’asiatique en Quebec

The phone rings. Please pick the correct way to answer a phone in Franglais:

a) Tabernack, d’qui Hell noveau fresh c’est ca?

b) Allo allo moshi moshi?

c) Bonjour vous avez reached la answering d’machine call screening au Claude Pierre Gagnon. Je suis pas home maintenant yeah right mais leavez un message et je suis mais returnez votre telephonez. Possible. Bonne chance dans in Hell.

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Lesson

Numerux

Vingt Sank

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FEET (Franglais for the English Equivalency Test)

FEET (Franglais for
the English Equivalency Test)